Oh, Tortus!
by Greki
Summary: -ONESHOT- Because crones can be evil...


**AN: **_Well, this is a fic i posted a long time ago, but was gotten down due to the chat/scripts format this was. All I have to say is that the original story was from my sis, and I just made modifications it. I hope you like it._

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**Oh, Tortus**

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The temples had been a hell for Link, all he desired was to rest and sleep peacefully in his room at the Inn. But tire got the best of him, fooling his senses and getting him to an unwanted room. Anju's grandmother's room. 

Link enters the room, and sees the old lady sitting in her usual rocking chair, reading books. The lady responds to the soft chirring of the door, and sees Link standing there. "Ohhh, Tortus!" the lady greets him with her usual squeal. Link returns the gesture, seeing her badly for mistaking his name.

"I'm not Tortus… my name is Link…" he tells her. But the old lady doesn't notice and replays, "ohhh, Tortus!" she starts, "could you bring me a glass of water?"

Link sighs, resigned, not wanting to be impolite. He goes out in order to bring the nanny's desire. There, aftersome few moments, Link returns with the glass full of water. He hangs it to the grandma, who takes the glass gladly.

"Ohhh, Tortus!" she says as usual, "thaannnk you."

Link just returns the gesture, completely exasperated, and tells her, "I told you I'm not Tortus…"

Some minutes pass, and a mischievous smirk appears on the old lady's face. "Ohhh, Tortus!" She keeps as if not really caring for what Link says. "Could you buyyyy me some peanuts?"

Link limits himself to just sigh, and goes out once more to get the old lady's desire.

Again, after a few minutes Link returns with a bag of peanuts. And with a displeased face, due to the fact that he purchased them with his own money. The grandma looks over, with a huge grin on her face. "Ohhh, Tortus!" she starts once more as usual, "thaannks!"

"Ugg… 50 rupees for some stupid peanuts…"

Once more the rooms falls to silence.

Suddenly the grandma smiles innocently and calls out for him, "ohhh, Tortus!" Link stares at her. "Could you bring me some prune juuuiiice?" she squeals with delight.

"I said Link… no Tortus here!" Link mutters on his way out. Links enters once more from the wooden door after some minutes, accidentally slipping some ofits contentonto the floor.

The old granny looks over to Link. "Ohhhhhhhhh, Tortus!" then her gazedances over the small spot. "What a mess…" She looks back to Link once more. "Could you bring a mop to cleeaaannn?"

"Auggg," Link groans under his breathe. "Damn…"

There passes some moments and Link is seen cleaning the floor. "Ohhhh, Tortus!" she calls. "You left a spot!"

Link limited himself to glare at her with venom in his eyes.

"Ohhhhhhhhh, Tortus!" the grandma cries out after some minutes of silence. "Come here and scratch my back!" she says with authority. Link looks at her and replies, "I told you I'm Tort--" he stopped himself, realizing what he was saying, and corrects himself, "I mean Link!"

There we found Link scratching the grandma's old timer back. She cries happily, "Ohhhhhhhhhh, Tortus!" She looks at him. "Give me now a massage."

The poor Hero of Time could only stare blankly.

The two are then seen sitting, with not a single sound in the air.

"Ohhh, Tortus!" The grandma looks over to him. "Can you help me wash myself?"

For one of the few occasions that had ever happened to him, Link faints. "Ohhh, Tortus!"

Not so long was it after the real Tortus - whom miraculously was alive -came to the room. He greets her, "wassup Granny?" The old woman turns to see the real Tortus and greets him, "Ohhhhhhhhh, Link!"

Tortus stares back at her, blinking. "I'm not Link, granny! I'm Tortus! You know? Yer son!"

But the old lady responds, "ohhhhh, Link!" She signals to where Link is lying. "Tortus is taking care of me."

Tortus gazes at the unconscious Link and whispers, "he's Link granny." He turns to see her. "He's Link and I'm Tortus."

The old lady stays quite for a moment, but then suddenlyspeaks as if realizing something, "Ohhhhhhhhh…" she stops herself then, musing, "what a surprise…"

"I need some cranberry jelly."

No one knows what happened after that, but Link is seen standing up as if nothing happened. "Well I gotta go," he says and goes out of the room. Just then a stirring Tatl, who was sleepingunder Link's hat, informs Link, "Link, it's now daytime. Time to work, no sleep for now!"

All Link does is see her in a deadly manner.

"Dammit…"

Legend tells of a voice in the inn who whispers at night, as a frightening nightmare which seems to be saying words foreign to all people but one.

_Ohh, Tortus!_

_Thank you for all…_

_Link…_

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_Can you chomp my food for me?_

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**__**The end.**_

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**AU**: _All that's left is a little message, I will have a few delays on Lost in the Death for the next chapter. Don't worry, i'm still gonna try to make it as fast as i can. Until then._


End file.
